The end is in sight

Not on either of my WIPs (that would be too much to ask for) but insurance will be settled up from the fire sometime this month (15th at the latest). Personally I think 5 months is a ridiculous time span but it will be behind us soon.

With all things insurance related slowly winding down the move is looming before me. I don't really want to move as I hate it with every fiber of my being and would rather give myself a home lobotomy but it is happening in three weeks anyways.

Now writing must start ramping up as well.

I built myself a wall when it came to writing and it took me almost a month to realize it. As Sariel grew I began to feel the story was rapidly outpacing my writing ability. Nine years away from the writing game suddenly seemed like a lifetime and with every word I felt as if rust was flaking off the gears.

I would write in a frenzy and then throw it all away because it sucked. Well it really did suck but I realized I was not giving it my best and that was why. If I never finished the thing then I could not be rejected or ridiculed and THAT was starting to look like a winning proposition.

When quitting started to look like an attractive option I knew I had a serious problem. I have walked away from projects before but never one I had invested so much time in. I had a million excuses (husband, son, work, insurance, getting ready to move) but no real reason for my abysmal writing performance. In an effort to self correct I actually broke down and outlined. OK so it is only eight lines scribbled on a cash register receipt but it told me where I need to go next and I have no excuse for getting off track now.

Am I done yet?

So for two month I ran all over town trying to price every last little item in our home that was destroyed by the fire. Last week I finished even though everything else in my life suffered. I even realized I had two stories from Lori in my inbox that I never even got to read. (very sorry about that personal apology coming via email when i finish this) As we are typing everything up and getting ready to turn it in I am informed they need MORE information. Basically they were going to have to pay out too much so now we need to figure out when we got everything, how much we paid, where we bought it and remember where we got all the new prices from so they can depreciate our claim.

Awesome, really that's just fucking awesome. It has been three months and I am basically starting over from scratch. So I have 2 weeks to finish the new list and hand it in so I can have some money by the end of June.

So guess what I have done almost nothing on in a month, writing. Well that's not true I wrote a lot but had to scrap it all because I had gone off on a crazy tangent that served no purpose other than to amuse me. A bunch of cheerleaders got their asses kicked in my tangent.

I wanted my draft done by the time we moved but it is not looking good unless I give up sleep and food.

The up side is I have been spending less time on AW. That place should be called how to give yourself a complex about your writing in one easy step. I love it but it really slows up the process the more I read because I am completely and totally unable to give myself permission to write badly except on my blog and places like that.

better late than never ...... I guess.

I finally got an inventory list from the insurance company this week. Not bad it only took them a month, and then some. It was incomplete, which is hardly surprising. What did surprise me was some of the stuff they missed. I can understand how they missed Ethan's UB Funky toy but how on earth did they miss

• A sectional couch
• A computer desk
• A computer chair
• An end table

I mean really this is not something you may have simply overlooked. This stuff is HUGE. Incompetent asshats.

They are also Lazy. They did my kitchen first. Evey grocery item I had was labeled with the bran and the weight and any other irrelevant information they could fit in the space. Yet for each room they only write x number of books. How am I supposed to know if any books are missing if you lazy bastards don't even give me titles?

Of course teh universe must balance its self somehow though and with all that douchebaggery behind me tonight we are having a late St. Paddy's Day party.

WOOT bust out the booze and let the immature foolishness commence.

I lost my words.

Not as in I am suffering from writers block or anything but I literally LOST a few chapters. I do a lot of my work longhand and then type it up later because my life does not always permit me to sit at a comp when I feel the need to write.

Feb. 2 we had a house fire (everyone is ok) though and PAGES AND PAGES I was planning on transcribing that afternoon are gone now. I have tried to recreate them but I was living in a three bedroom house with 10 people (6 adults, a 6 year old, 5yr old, 3 yr old and 1yr old) and although I don't need silence to write that was just to much. So I have done NOTHING since January. NOTHING!!!

I feel like such a slacker and am hoping to get back into the groove tomorrow now that we are settled in at a friends house. I am afraid that I left it for so long I will not be able to get back into it properly. I know that is just self doubt and really has no foundation but it worries me all the same.