Thursday, September 17, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
While aspirations are undoubtedly a good thing I can't help but feel drawn back to school where I would listen to the guys I hung out with talk about who had the biggest dick.
Now much like the measuring contest of yesteryear writing measurements don't tell us a whole lot. There are extreme cases like where a writer does only ten words a week that we could compare to a 1 inch penis but for the most part writers will write however much works for them.
I'm not going to say I never have the urge to whip out the ole yard stick and see how I do compared to others, but people like Lori or Scarlett would just give me an inferiority complex and the writers version of erectile dysfunction (also known as writers block). This hardly seems constructive.
Instead I concentrate on my own writing and set my own goals. For me I will be content to write, edit, polish, and submit one novel a year. Other people would cry if they couldn't finish one in a month. There is nothing wrong with either of those goals as long as the writer picks one for themselves rather than force it upon themselves because they feel inferior otherwise.
I could probably bang out many thousand words in a day but I prefer to put out words that make sense when strung together and that takes time for me.
I also have to wonder how much time writers loose to wangsting about poor output when they could be using that time to actually .... you know.... write words.
Of course I coudl be writing words instead of wangsting about wangsting but, I'm a special case.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
For those of you not acquainted with my anal retentive nature, red ink is place holders. Mark sets the table while chewing Miya out. would be an example. Now the prose sucks but I know what has to go there and it allows me to move on. Well in theory that's what it does. In reality all it does is give me something to wangst over while I try to write the rest of the story.
Blender (my short) is moving along much better and I think I have a better feel for where I want to go with it now. All I need now is my own computer so I can get more writing time on it.
I have the ferry booked for July 23rd so that is the day I am moving off the island. I am SO not ready. Insurance still has all my stuff and I have painting and whatnot to do before the move as well.
Today will be my last day at work. Still have yet to figure out how I am getting home from that one as my van is in the shop.
My brother is flying in tomorrow to help us with the move. I am going to have to find some time to ignore him so I can write. He is pretty supportive of my writing though so that shouldn't be a problem. I also pick up my last cat from the kennel tomorrow.
Is it August yet?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I was bored and blog stalking Lori when I found this. Seemed like a good cure for my boredom so here you go. Now you too can be bored out of your skull while you read it,
1) Where do you write?
Couch, van, work, bed, and at the computer desk. I think I may have consistency problems.
2) When do you write?
Usually when I should be doing other things. Between customers at work, When my son is occupied with video games, and when I want an excuse to be antisocial
3) Planner or Pantser?
Pantser. Complete and utter pantser. It is all outlined in my head but I have been known to scrap 90% of it.
4) Coffee or tea?
Coke (cola not contraband substances)
5) Pen and paper, or computer?
Pen and paper. It sucks for speed but my OCD can't handle my abysmal typing skills and still make progress.
6) What gets you in the writing mood?
Reading good books, watching good movies, and getting bills in my mailbox.
7) What pulls you out of the writing mood?
Having people touch me. Seriously I am not a touchy feely person and it messes with my mojo.
8) What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever read/heard/received?
"That's what first drafts are for." is right up there with "It's only words, you can change them later." .Wow sounds really lame when you write it out.
9) Got muse?
No but I have a cat does he count? I have a lot of inspiration but I think we all do the difference is what we choose to do with it.
10) Who is the biggest supporter of your writing?My husband, brother and mother, and myself of course. It seems silly to list myself but without the faith in my own abilities I would never get anything done. Other people having belief and faith is not what allows me to take the leap and potentially waste hours/days/weeks of my life I am never going to get back. It is believing in myself that gives me permission to do that.
11) Sound or Silence?
am pretty sure silence is an urban legend. I have heard of it but never experienced it for myself.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
With all things insurance related slowly winding down the move is looming before me. I don't really want to move as I hate it with every fiber of my being and would rather give myself a home lobotomy but it is happening in three weeks anyways.
Now writing must start ramping up as well.
I built myself a wall when it came to writing and it took me almost a month to realize it. As Sariel grew I began to feel the story was rapidly outpacing my writing ability. Nine years away from the writing game suddenly seemed like a lifetime and with every word I felt as if rust was flaking off the gears.
I would write in a frenzy and then throw it all away because it sucked. Well it really did suck but I realized I was not giving it my best and that was why. If I never finished the thing then I could not be rejected or ridiculed and THAT was starting to look like a winning proposition.
When quitting started to look like an attractive option I knew I had a serious problem. I have walked away from projects before but never one I had invested so much time in. I had a million excuses (husband, son, work, insurance, getting ready to move) but no real reason for my abysmal writing performance. In an effort to self correct I actually broke down and outlined. OK so it is only eight lines scribbled on a cash register receipt but it told me where I need to go next and I have no excuse for getting off track now.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Reworked the title and am extremely pleased with what I finally came up with.
Sariel as not only an angel of death but also a rumored fallen angel just works so much better. Plus it doesn't put me in mind of Tom Cruise or the Avengers.
Friday, June 12, 2009
So I started reading it to him the other night and OMG both of us were laughing our asses off. Billy even quit playing a game to come listen to the book.
It isn't the best book ever written. A lot of it is done with silly comic book pictures the kid (who is actually a grown man of course) drew in his diary and it is a bit choppy (not bad) but that is what gives it its charm.
It is so simple I was kicking myself saying "why didn't I think of this" when I was done.
Hands down it is the best grade school book I have read ........ well probably ever.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
She wasn't a big fan of reading though and I must confess that broke my poor writerly heart. She would illustrate long drawn out stories (20-30 pages) but never put a word of text in them. Last fall though she woke up at about 10 o'clock one night I was babysitting and found me scribbling away at a novel that I have long since scrapped (or delegated to MS word purgatory if you prefer) and started asking questions.
Within a week she was adding a few words to her books and her teachers were commenting on how much more she was writing (or so she told me). Yeah me! I somehow without trying inspired a kid to write.
A few days ago at work she gave me a copy of a book she was working on to read. It was about a magical Pokemon who granted wishes and was helping Picachu find his friends. She wanted me to read it and let her know what I thought because she had decided when she grew up she wanted to write books like me.
I opened it up preparing to smile and nod politely as I usually do when kids show me their work and pretend I thought the sun shone out of it. Actually I was blown away. The spelling caused my brain to scramble a few times but the story itself was well plotted and contained decent grammar. The illustrations were stellar of course but with this girl I would hardly expect anything less.
I told her exactly what I thought and showed her how to use quotation marks to make it a bit clearer and easier to read. I also told her there was no reason she had to wait until she grew up to write books, there was no reason she couldn't start now.
Whatever comes of my writing be it huge publishing contracts or a life of obscurity I know it has had at least one positive result. It taught this girl to love books enough that she wants to make her own. For me it doesn't get any better than that.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Awesome, really that's just fucking awesome. It has been three months and I am basically starting over from scratch. So I have 2 weeks to finish the new list and hand it in so I can have some money by the end of June.
So guess what I have done almost nothing on in a month, writing. Well that's not true I wrote a lot but had to scrap it all because I had gone off on a crazy tangent that served no purpose other than to amuse me. A bunch of cheerleaders got their asses kicked in my tangent.
I wanted my draft done by the time we moved but it is not looking good unless I give up sleep and food.
The up side is I have been spending less time on AW. That place should be called how to give yourself a complex about your writing in one easy step. I love it but it really slows up the process the more I read because I am completely and totally unable to give myself permission to write badly except on my blog and places like that.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Saturday I was sitting on the couch writing away. Billy and Ethan were downstairs playing a game leaving me to struggle through my segue in peace. I have transitions I really do.
So I am sitting there writing/scribbling and minding my own business when Billy comes up and sits next to me. That's not a problem I think I may have even grunted hello. Lord knows sitting with me is not enough though he has to LIE on the couch and put his feet up by my head. ACK feet get them away!
That is how it all started. I spazzed and tried to shove his feet away without actually touching them. This is actually even more difficult than it sounds. Eventually I snapped my shit and told him if he didn't move them then I would be forced to take violent actions and stab his toe with my pen. Not wanting to be acused of not listening to be he moved them.... SO THEY WERE TOUCHING MY BODY.
This, so far as I am concerned, was an act of war and a full out wresting match ensued. Eventually I had him pinned in his coner of the couch using MY feet told hold him there and went back to writng. Every time I put pen to paper he shook my book. He wanted to know if he was in my book. No dear but if you keep driving me crazy you will be AND you will die a slow and horrible death.
Apperently this sounded intriging to him because he continued with the foot harassment and book shaking. He was warned I will name his character Dave. There were no plans for a Dave in my book but I think I can work one in. Disembowlment sounds painful but I am open to suggestions.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Billy - Why do you need to know about confession?
Me - Because my MC is Catholic and is feeling really guilty about something so I want to know how it works. I am also wondering if other people could guess how bad you were by how long you were doing the rosary thing.
Billy - What did she do?
Me - Accidentally killed someone.
Billy - If it was an accident why not go to the police?
Me - Because it happened during the commission of a crime.
Billy - What crime?
Me- Breaking and entering.
Billy - I thought she was a good guy??? (insert thoroughly confused look here)
Me - She is, he had a gun though so she tried to disarm him.
Billy - Yeah but she was on his property so he was within his rights to pull a gun on her.
Me - Well it's not like she broke into his house.
Billy - What? I thought it was a B&E. Where did she break into.
Me - A brothel.
Billy - God this is going to be weird isn't it (referring to my WIP)
Personally I don't get what is so weird about breaking into a brothel, accidentally killing someone and then feeling bad about it. Honestly I am not even 100% sure she is going to kill dude but whatever. Weird or not though when this beast is finished he will tell me how awesome it is because he knows how I love to have my ego stroked. Then I will send it to someone who won't lie in an effort to get a blow job.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Yesterday I walked into the wall while coming out of the sauna at the gym. I was too busy thinking about how my MC was supposed to lure someone off. Today I went into the land of make believe while driving and almost rear ended a semi.
I seriously need to find an off switch in my brain.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I broke down and started picking at the second story that is living in my head. It is much darker (apocalyptic) and I am finding on the days I can't concentrate on Valkyrie I can focus in on that one a bit easier.
We are still dealing with insurance and working on coming up with a price list of everything we lost. Just looking at the list overwhelms me most times but I am going to have to suck it up and get it done.
None of this however is what I came here to blog about though. I was complaining to a friend the other day and she made a comment about my strength that got me thinking. She said that she didn't know how I found the strength to go on when bad things keep happening to me. I have been hearing variations of this my whole life (what can I say I'm cursed) but I never really understood the sentiment behind it.
When things go wrong I do what I have to in order to survive. Bills still need to be paid, kids still need to be fed, husbands need to be yelled at for leaving dirty socks on the floor. As much as I would often like it to life does not come with a pause button that will allow me time to crumple on the floor in a blubbering heap.
I don't do anything that these people who comment on my strength wouldn't be able to do themselves in the same situation. This got me thinking that maybe it was not my strength that they were overestimating but rather that they were underestimating their own. Perhaps too many of us are approaching life with an 'I can't handle it' attitude. Many things in life are determined by our own attitudes so if we enter adversity expecting to be broken by it then it will become a self fulfilling prophesy.
I don't delude myself into thinking I will succeed at everything I try but rather knowing that no matter what I will come out whole on the other side. Well that or dead, I guess dying is always a possibility.
I may never make it as a writer but I will not let the possibility of failure cripple me. Like everything in life true failure for me would come from never trying.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
``Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.``
It made me laugh much harder than it should have so I had to share.
Exploding shoes. It just doesn`t get any better than that.
Friday, April 10, 2009
I wish I could type as fast as I think. If that was the case this thing would be done already. I know most of what is going on and have hammered out the dialogue in my head. Grammar is a different story but that is what editing is for. I hope to have my first draft done by the time we move in August so I really have to concentrate more on writing and less on the other stuff in life.
Right now the thing that is subtracting most from my progress is Battlestar Galactica. We are watching the series on DVD and my love for Apollo is interfering with my love for Valkyrie. Don't get me wrong I still have great love (and almost no loathing) for Valkyrie but Apollo is messing with my schedule.
For those not in the know here is Apollo.
Friday, March 20, 2009
- A sectional couch
- A computer desk
- A computer chair
- An end table
They are also Lazy. They did my kitchen first. Evey grocery item I had was labeled with the bran and the weight and any other irrelevant information they could fit in the space. Yet for each room they only write x number of books. How am I supposed to know if any books are missing if you lazy bastards don't even give me titles?
Of course teh universe must balance its self somehow though and with all that douchebaggery behind me tonight we are having a late St. Paddy's Day party.
WOOT bust out the booze and let the immature foolishness commence.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Other than that it has been a craptastic day. I have a headache that won't go away, a six year old who is in I question all authority mode, and I am dropping everything. All I want to do is crawl in bed but I soon have to go pick people up from work and if I sleep no one will watch the monster.
Is it tomorrow yet?
On Sundays a bunch of his friends come over to play Star Wars, a tabletop game similar to D&D. While waiting for the festivities to commence three of us got into a rather heated argument about whether or not Blade would be classified as chaotic good or chaotic neutral. It struck us that when you get into an argument about the D&D alignment of a comic book character you really no leg to stand on if you ever try to deny your geekdom. Lucky for me I don't even try.
Writing is coming along slowly and transcribing even slower. It is my own stupid fault because I picked up new books. One was Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King. It was pretty good although I was less than enthusiastic about a few endings. The other was Northern Lights by Nora Roberts. I only picked up the latter because it was lying on a counter at work and I was bored but it sucked me in. I ended up reading it in less than two days but that was two days of virtually no writing.
So now I am on a self imposed reading sabbatical and will not read anything else until I finish transcribing what I have done and write at least two more chapters. That should light a fire under my butt. Unless of course Lori sends me something in which case I will break my own rules and read it.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
What is that you ask. It is simply an alphabetical list of hotties. Today is the letter A. I choose Angelina Jolie. I am aware you would normally arrange it by last name but if I put her and Hugh Jackman in the same post the computer may melt so I am erring on the side of caution.
Oh yes the letter A truly is a lovely letter
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I told him that my characters kept wanting to do things other than what I wanted them to.
He looked at me with one of those long suffering looks that makes me want to smack the person and said "Melisa, you made them up you can make them do whatever you want."
Oh yeah cause it is THAT easy. If it was that easy every Tom Dick and Lucy would be a published author.
I tried to explain to him how characters take on lives and personalities of their own. How there was so much more to them than what gets put on paper. "I could tell you what color underwear they are wearing" I said trying to prove my point.
"Of course you can. You make up their underwear too."
ARGH he was so not getting the point. I mean really why would I say this if it was not true. Does he think I like sounding like a crazy woman?
I suppose technically he is right and I could write what I want them to do instead of what they want to do but it comes out really crappy so why bother.
On another completely unrelated note I washed Push last night. Good movie. Chris Evans just moved up a bit on my hottie list.
Friday, February 27, 2009
I am now living across the road from a library which is totally awesome and I am hoping it will boost productivity although in reality it will probably slow it because there are just too many books to read and not enough days in my life to read em all.
I am back into the swing of going to the Gym now as well. I went yesterday and realized that I lost 10lbs in February without even trying (no gym no diet) I guess that proves that stress really does burn calories.
Hopefully I will have my comp back soon and all my man candy photos with it. It is amazing how much I miss being able to link a random hottie to the bottom of a post when the mood strikes me.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Feb. 2 we had a house fire (everyone is ok) though and PAGES AND PAGES I was planning on transcribing that afternoon are gone now. I have tried to recreate them but I was living in a three bedroom house with 10 people (6 adults, a 6 year old, 5yr old, 3 yr old and 1yr old) and although I don't need silence to write that was just to much. So I have done NOTHING since January. NOTHING!!!
I feel like such a slacker and am hoping to get back into the groove tomorrow now that we are settled in at a friends house. I am afraid that I left it for so long I will not be able to get back into it properly. I know that is just self doubt and really has no foundation but it worries me all the same.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
- I will often forget to eat or sleep if I am reading a good book. Peeing happens only when it is an emergency and the book travels with me.
- I do things just to say I did. Like smoking in the boys room.
- People were shocked when I got married and still after almost five years ask my husband how he did it.
- I am just as likely to sing a Mariah Carey song as an Alice Cooper one.
- I think willful ignorance should be met with corporal punishment.
- I collect Smurfs.
- I lost count of how many times I read "The Long Walk" after 12.
- I genuinely like very few people. In fact I probably have enough digits to count them all.
- I don't drink coffee or tea.
- I have a tattoo and plan to get more
- Once I cut off a piece of my finger. Despite doctors saying it was impossible it grew back.
- I love being on stage in any capacity.
- I hate cell phones. The best part of grocery shopping is being incommunicado, I don't want life finding me.
- I have severe ADD, and mild OCD. this means nothing ever gets finished but it is always perfectly started.
- I have an IQ of 186.
- Despite said IQ I often do the stupidest things imaginable.
- I love working out. It is the only physical release I get for my anger since DH strongly disapproves of my desire to 'smack the stupid' out of people I meet.
- My first major celebrity crush was Marky mark
- all these years later I still see no reason to regret that
- I think tattoos are very sexy and all men should have a few.
- If I had my way I would have nine kids.
- I once beat the shit out of a would be abductor with a shoe.
- I have no fear of walking alone at night in any city I have ever been in.
- Spiders reduce me to a blubbering idiot.
- Despite this I have a spider tattooed on my body .
- I kissed a girl once and decided it was overrated. Tried a few more times though just to be sure.
- 5 years ago I had never seen a super hero movie. Now I own more than I care to count and have numerous crushes on men in tights (or iron)
- I love live music. I have seen Thorn Lee, Novax, Sloan, Alice Cooper, Hot hot heat, Econoline crush, Treble Charger, Sum 41 and Dr. Hook. This is not nearly enough though and I intend to expand on that.
- I am horrible with names and give most everyone I meet a nickname. Some are innocent enough like "flower girl" but others like "captain acne" should probably be kept to myself.
- I hate when the music I like find its way into radio shuffle. Buck Cherry, Jason Maraz and Hinder are all prime examples of music I loved but got overplayed.
- I can talk books until the other persons eyes glaze over.
- I have only ever put down one book without finishing it and that was "Viking" by Fabio. "Old man and the sea" would be on that list too though if I hadn't had to write a report on it.
- I love 80's hair metal.
- I have natural red hair but everyone thinks it comes from a bottle
- I define "low maintenance"
- One year Billy forced me to celebrate Valentines day but agreed to let me pick the movie. We watched Hannibal. Now he pretends the day doesn't exist.
- I also don't celebrate anniversaries.
- I have still not finished the original Mario game.
- I often laugh at the conversations going on in my head. Drives everyone around me batshit.
- Despite getting knocked up repeatedly by accident I seem to be having an exceptionally hard time doing it on purpose.
- I absolutely despise fan fiction. It doesn't matter how well written it is you are still mooching off another persons ideas.
- I am the oldest of six children.
- No we don't all have the same parents, in fact no two sibs in my family have the same parents.
- In the seventh grade I failed a genealogy project because the teacher couldn't read my family tree.
- I saw star wars for the first time when I was pregnant with my oldest and too fat to move. My brother had taped then off the TV so I watched them one after the other. The last 15 mins of the last movie was missing. To this day I have not seen the "I am your father" bit.
- In high school teachers used to complain that I didn't put in enough effort. Apparently they were unaware of how much effort it takes to graduate when you rarely go to class
- I play magic cards and love going to tournaments.
- I paid $40 for a Lord Soth figurine.
- When my parents first met my now husband they were shocked by the lack of piercings, tattoos and criminal records.
- I often add old high school acquaintances (whom I hated) as facebook friends just to see if they got fat.
- In most cases they did but there are a few regrettable exceptions.
- I am only doing this because I can't figure out what to do with my characters at the exact moment. There are two equally appealing possibilities.
- I love Lindt chocolate truffles. They are defiantly the food of the gods.
- Alice Cooper was a major inspiration for mt current WIP.
- I am currently playing Dungeons and Dragons.
- I have an obsession with flair on facebook.
- I am the only licensed driver in my house, there are days I hate it.
- I go a bit overboard at Christmas, Like I bake a bazillion cookies and give out home made chocolates overboard.
- I could totally be a hermit as long as I had internet.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Setbacks are MAJOR in the naming department though. Originally the book was supposed to be titled Valkyrie but Tom Cruise went and fucked that up with his new movie he has coming out, or maybe it is already out but either way it now sounds lame where when I first thought of it it sounded tres cool.
So fuck you Tom Cruise and I don't mean that in the same way I would say Fuck you to certain other male celebs.
So it is still without title :(
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Don't get me wrong now I have plenty of others, like the inability to keep my opinions to myself, but my ego is definitely my biggest issue.
So now that I have caught the emo I am not quite sure what to do with myself. It hit me out of no where today when I was writing away and then suddenly second guessing every word I put down. My internal dialogue went something like
"Am I using that word too much?"
"Should it be a the noun or pronoun here"
"crap maybe I should put the comma before that word, no definitely after, no before"
well it just went on and on. Eventually I had to put the writing away because the end result was really choppy and read like a book report.
Maybe I will take a break from writing and try to do a bit more reading, that usually clears my head a bit.
Now I just have to decide which super hero I want to come save me from the emo.
Oh the decisions a girl has to make. Life is such a burden
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Well now I am off to type up what I got done and try to avoid the urge to look at flair.
And just because he has been living in my head for a few days
MMMMMMMMMMMM. Hugh Jackman
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Other than that it is coming along OK.
In real life my van is in the shop because I broke BOTH my front doors in separate and completely unrelated bouts of stupidity. I am house bound and going stir crazy. I didn't think it would be this bad because I never go anywhere anyways but I had to give up the gym for 4 days just when I was getting back into my after Christmas groove. Last night at work one of our regulars either told me I was fat or asked if I was pregnant. Not sure which as my sign language is quite basic but either way I feel I need the gym more than ever.
One of my new years resolutions was to fit in my skinny jeans. the other was to read less and write more but Lori keeps sending me stuff and then my mother in law gave me vampire porn to read.
It is the Kiss of crimson series. by Laura Adrian. She really needs to take an anatomy class. You can not touch someones sex. you can't rub it or suck it or do any of the other crap you tried to claim because .................... it is not a tangible object. I checked and double checked and then enlisted some help in the search. Get a dictionary!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
So far the hardest part of this one has been naming people (I hate naming people) and trying to decide how graphic parts should be. But at least the story is flowing and there are no walls in the foreseeable future.